I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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