No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
