OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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