I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
