I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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