Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
