Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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