school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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