He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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