I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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