guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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