Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
