GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize