You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
