And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
