well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
