I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
