every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
