After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
