this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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