are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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