after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
