you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Mom said you looked used
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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