Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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