I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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