I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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