rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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