you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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