I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
