ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
