Screwed.edu
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
