Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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