I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
