What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize
