Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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