I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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