"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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