No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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