I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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