sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
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gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize