I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
