I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
