At least make sure they are 18
Why
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
