its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
