Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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