just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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