saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
