so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
