im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
