Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
