Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
