the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
should my penis look like a turkey
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He shit in the fireplace
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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