Don't you send me to vm
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
so much tequila, so little girl.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
