This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
