I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
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