I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
