i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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