she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just pee around me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
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