i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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