Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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