btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
