At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
These tits shall not be calmed
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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