The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
