what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
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Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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