Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
