Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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