tell your sister to shave her snatch
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
