Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
