he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
