I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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