the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
