it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
