There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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